...Hidden Message...

Just as I though everything was over, you came...
Offering to heal my broken heart...
Rewind time so that I wouldn't cry...
Delete everything and bring my smile back...
Only for me...
Never hesitating...

Thoughts running though my head...
Unable to look away I stare into your eyes...
Resting my head in my hand...
Never breaking our eye contact...
Ever so slightly you brush your lips upon mine...
Realizing that I wouldn't change this for the world...

I love you...

Wanting... Desire...

Wanting to run after you every time you leave... Wanting to hug you every time I see you... Wanting to kiss you every time our eyes meet... More and more... every day... even though I cant see you every day you're there in my heart... in my head... haunting me... killing me... the yearning desire for you to hold me longer...  the desire I have is slowly tearing me apart inside... I don't know anything about these feelings I have in side... All I have is this burning need to be beside you...
Am I in love with you? I don't know...

Missing you... Once again...

I've never touched you...
Yet I miss the warming feeling of your skin...
I've never hold you...
Yet my arms are acing for you to be back in them...
I've never kissed you...
Yet I long to feel your lips upon mine once again...
I never knew that I'd miss you like this...
I've only seen your face on a screen...
On a picture...
How can I miss you this much...
When I've never even met you...

IMVU!

IMVU! Cool place to meet people and dress up! IMVU is amazing o.o I meet new people every day and I've met so much amazing people and made friends from all over the world!

...No...No...No...

no... no i dont really want to... Sorry...

Dreams do come true.... right?

...she can't look at him so she keeps staring at the ground feeling her cheeks heat up. Suddenly she feels his firm but gentle hand lift her head up so they're facing each other and only for a second that feels like a whole eternity a jolt shoots through her body as their lips barely meet. He begins to pull away but she throws her arms around his neck before he can stand again and pull him into a deep passionate kiss. Everything around her disappear and she only feels his lips pressed against hers and his arms warped around her waist...
...as she starts to breath regular again she feels the pouring rain on her bare arms and she starts to shiver in his arms. She looks up at him and their eyes meet as he wraps his arms tighter around her. He kisses her forehead and quietly whispers "I love you". Her cheeks starts to heat up more and he smiles that smile worth dying for. He softly kissed her blushing cheeks and then her trembling lips. She closes her eyes and wish with all her might that this moment will last forever...

Would you...?

What would you do if i lied on my bed crying?
Would you hold me and tell me everything will be alright?
What would you do if i hurt myself?
Would you stop me and tell me that i'm being stupid?
What would you do if i told you to kill me?
Would you refuse and tell me there's no chance in hell?
What would you do if i really wanted to die?
Would you force me to keep on living, tell me that there's a point in living and be by my side, watching over me so that i wont do anything stupid?
Or would you simply just turn around like you never knew me because you have your own problems to deal with?
Or maybe you'd tell me to keep on living because you cant live without me.
I wouldn't dare to kill you... because i love you to much... and i want to be with you every second of every day... and when we're apart i'd miss you with every fiber in my body...
Is it wrong to think the world would be better without me here?
There's so many questions... and i got no answers...
I just know that i'll keep on living, because i'm afraid of what i might miss... i want to set an example for the next generation to follow... and if i give up on my life now... they wouldn't have anything to follow...
It's hard being far away from you... it's hard to know that you're with someone ells in staid of me... Because i want to be with you so bad...
Then again... am i really good enough for you...? i wonder...
would you love me... like i love you... if you knew...

Fat, Friends and Computers

Whoppie!
My little brother and a guy who i though was one of my best friends were standing and yelling at me that i'm fat today... really fun when you're alreadu paranoid over your weight... Yes! Way to go selfasteem boost! So I'm pretty pissed... i dont feel like doing anything exept throwing toms coputer ouf of the window on the tower down to the driveway :3 that's a nice fall of 5-7 meters o: i think it will break right?
I'mma go eat... this fat lady is hungry so stay out of the way!

No more

Give me back those days that I had to cry over you
Give me back those days that I had to miss you
Give me back those days that I had to sit up and wait for you
Give me back those days that I had to spend alone because of you


I'll tell you now
No more crying, I'm done waisting my tears on you
No more missing, I have better things to do
No more waiting, it was already killing me
No more alone, now that I know I can move forward.


But before I leave, please, give me back my shattered heart
You don't deserve to keep the pieces.

Have you ever felt like dying?

Have you ever felt like crying?
Crying so bad that you'll cry until you don't have anymore tears to cry
Have you ever felt like flying?
Flying away so that nobody could catch you or make you do anything
Have you ever felt like lying?
Lying so that they would never know what's really going on inside of you
Have you ever felt like dying?
Dying so that you don't have to feel the pain that runs though your vains
Could you tell me?
Have you ever felt like dying so bad that you've stood on a building looking down at the tiny people so innocently concerned about their own daily problems that they don't have time to look up and notice that there's a person standing on top of a building ready to jump, ready to throw their life away because they cant stand the pain anymore.


Please tell me.... or is it just me?

Headache

Woho for headaches!
Nothing fun happened today... woke up around 10, got up, got dress, I'm pretty smexy today if I get to brag :3 and went to school. Had my classes and then went to the buss and went with Abe and Mike and had a good time on the buss, which was in a traffic jam, talking about world of warecraft aka wow (omg i hate that fucking game!)and then i had a walk from the buss stop to mediamarkt where I waited for mom to show up so we could look at a computer. I did find one that I like and I did buy a game (Sims 3 dream job) but they didn't have the computer in stock so that blew up, but i did find it on some other stores so I'll probably go to another store to buy it. :D
and i have a headache... omg the headache o.o and now i think I'll go to bed... I'm so tired... good for me that i don't start school until 2.30 pm tomorrow :3 then I can sleep in~

new addiction btw -> Mad World

Laters~

Not exacktly here

Okay because some people think that it's getting bothersome that I never update my blog, I'll do that right now.
I haven't really felt like writing and I don't really have anything to talk about so I'll just type down random shit that's up right now and if you don't like it well... sucks to be you :]
School started last week how about that... To be honest, I've kinda missed school, it gets you into routine and you have something to do all day and don't have to worry about what you're going to do.
I'm like tired... Always o.o I guess i sleep to much >.> or just have weird sleeping hours but I'm always tired. And you know one thing that keeps nagging the crap out of me? I hate sleeping alone. I noticed this after my cousin slept here for 3 nights, when she was gone I couldn't sleep.


Ugh i need a boyfriend >.>

What's your Deadly Sin?

Greed:	High
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Very High
Sloth:	High
Envy:	Medium
Lust:	High
Pride:	Very High

Discover Your Sins - Click Here

Day 17

Travemünde –> Stockholm
Okay, so we didn’t get any breakfast on the boat because it was too expensive so we drew for like an hour and then we stopped and got breakfast. Then we had to stop again because everybody had to go to the bathroom. But when we got to the gas station it was unmanned so it wasn’t a bathroom there so we had to go to another place to go to the bathroom, a whole lot driving around for just one rest stop.
Then we drew on, next stop was next to a red lake in Småland. I promise the bottom of the lake was brick red and the water was so nice. I wish I could have dived in and swam for a while but we had to keep going. Next stop was at a motel/restaurant with a really nice salad, I had an ice cream too. Then we drew for a while and listened to the Netherland – Slovakia game on the radio but I fell asleep because nothing happened. Then my dad starts yelling at me that I’ll get a headache if I sleep like that and then I couldn’t sleep anymore.
So that’s it people, I’m home now and if you want to see any pictures from the trip just ask me, I have loads. But I’m not going to upload any of them, I’m too lazy.

Day 16

Adenau –> Travemünde
Boring day, the only thing that really happened was that we were on a tank museum in Munster. It’s was kind of interesting to see all those old tanks. If you want pictures just send a message to Tom, he has like a 100 pictures from the museum.
That’s pretty much all we did all day, except for sitting in the car all day.

Day 15

Adenau
Nothing special happened today, we met up with a family friend at an old-timer mc-race and watched old mc that I’m still amazed over how they’re still running. We had lunch there and I got two slushy’s! One with cherry taste and one with blueberry taste, my lips, my teeth and my tongue were blue after that slush, it was so much fun. Then we had dinner with some friends at a really nice place, and the food, I mean my food was so good. I had Norwegian salmon, it was amazingly good. I tell you, I’ve never had so good salmon before. Then back to the hotel bar to have a drink and now to bed. You know what? I’m just going to watch another episode of friends before I hit bed. No I’m not at all addicted to watching friends, I promise!

Day 14

Adenau
Have you ever heard of something as stupid as Midsummer Day? Well it’s today and god damn it my mom wanted me to put on a dress! But I sneaked out of it and I and Tom decided to go swimming at the swimming hall here in Adenau, it was really fun and now I’m a little bit more tanned then I was before and my hair looks really blond.
Then we went to the hotel and sat and had lunch with a friend of mom and dad and watched a football match on TV. I can’t remember which teams were playing but anyhow. After that we went back to the room and got ready for a BBQ at a friend’s house, I didn’t eat anything because I had too much to eat at lunch so I was already full. But it was nice, we talked and laughed and listened to great music. When the sun set I got really tired so dad came with me and Tom to the hotel room to let us in because we only have one key so, if we had taken the keys mom and dad wouldn’t have come in. And guess what I did when I was back at the room? I watched some more friends! And then I fell asleep, fun day huh?

Day 13

Munich –> Adenau
Today was so much fun! First when we got up they went down to get some breakfast and I stayed on the room because I didn’t feel like eating. When they came back my mom had a sandwich for me with nut-cream on, it was so awesome! Then when we had packed our things into the car we went to BMW Welt and the BMW Museum, which was awesome too. They have so much cool things there, I tell you Munich is a shit town but it’s worth going there just to go and see BWM Welt and the museum. And, from the bridge between BMW Welt and the museum you could see the Olympia stadium. It’s a really cool building actually. After the museum we drew to Dachau to see the former concentration camp. I got really sad being there because of its history and that stuff so I didn’t want to go around so much but you should have see the size of that place, oh my god, and can you believe that there were like 200,000 people that had to work and die there just because of the Nazis? It’s sick and I know that there are places like Auschwitz but I haven’t been there so I don’t know how it looks but from the look of Dachau that was one of the first camps so it became a model for how the concentration camps were suppose to look.
After Dachau we headed towards Adenau. We stopped two timed because it’s quite a long trip. At the first stop we had toilet break and bought some chips, at the next stop it was McDonalds and we had dinner. I’ve missed the McFeast so much, yeah I’m crazy but before we left I was in a McFeast hole and I had eaten a lot of McFeast. Then when we finally got to Adenau the receptionist said that they had moved us to another room, or it was actually a apartment with three rooms so me and Tom have separate rooms and mom and dad are staying in the room with the double bed, it’s a really cool apartment.
Then I couldn’t sleep so I watched friends until I fell asleep. Which I know was after 2 o’clock.

Day 12

Innsbruck –> Munich
This day started pretty good but ended in disaster!
So, we headed off towards Munich and I got to sit in the front seat! Woho! First and last time ever on this trip… anyhow, it was a really “Schöner Straße” As my dad keep nagging about, and his damn “Gemüse”! I tell you, it’s really getting on my nerves.
When we at last came to Munich we had to drive to 4 different hotels before we decided to go to tourist information because every damn hotel was full. The lady on the tourist information said that they had a family room at a “Gast House” near the Olympia Park, so we said ok. It’s just that when we came to the right address it was a “Jugen Gast House” which is like a hotel for kids under 18 that are on a school trip or something. So both my mom and dad were really disappointed, well, I was disappointed too, I mean who wants to stay at a hotel that looks like the army/a concentration camp? Plus that there were like 10-20 school classes staying there as well so I had to sleep with my ear plugs to get some rest. I didn’t get any rest anyhow because the beds were so damn uncomfortable.
And as the icing on the cake, we had to walk around in like an hour and a half to find a restaurant and when we found one we got an idiot for a waiter. And the food wasn’t that great either. But at the end of dinner we got another waiter and he was funny and kind of cute.
Then we took the subway back to our stop and stopped at a bar and watched the end of the football match between Germany and Ghana. It was a good game and a nice drink and really annoying German football fans.

Day 11

Venice –> Munich
Okay, so we didn’t get all the way to Munich so we stopped at Innsbruck and stayed there for the night, the hotel was really great, it was an apartment with two rooms so I didn’t have to sleep in the same room as dad, yey! He snores pretty much so. Yeah I don’t want to sleep in the same room as him. The dinner was great too.
So I guess you could say it was a succeeded day. It was nice weather for once too, so the Italian trip wasn’t a total waist, I didn’t get the tan I wanted but I was only out in the sun for like 45 minutes so, it doesn’t count.